Boggy Fog in My Blog

It’s bloggy tonight, I mean foggy, in my head. I am overwhelmed with joy at the opportunity I have had to meet so many other beautiful souls who also suffer with chronic pain/illness and/or depression, and yet I am so saddened by the fact that there are so many suffering. I don’t want to even mutter the words “why?” but it seems so hard to understand. . .I know God has it all figured out, so I won’t go there, but it weighs heavy. I also struggle with feeling guilty because I am not in as much pain right now as I have been in the past and there are so many who are in terrible pain right now. My emotional pain waxes and wains. My physical pain is so unpredictable. I feel guilty that I am not hurting as badly as others. That seems so out of whack. I am so grateful that I have been able to peacefully enjoy the last few days with my little guy. I have been fatigued, and I have had to rest some. We certainly have not been going on any major adventures, but our days have been nice. I feel sad with the knowledge that others I care about are not enjoying their days this week because of pain, fear, or depression.
Tonight I was an onlooker at a beautiful display of God’s creation. Charley, Jacob and I went to a nearby lake and watched the moon rise above the tree line. It was perfectly full and a glorious orange ball appearing like magic before our eyes. This particular moon rise is called the Moon Illusion because the moon appears much larger on this night than most nights, even though, it is of coarse the same size. It was a great show! I am so thankful that we did that tonight, kind of out of character for us, but it was beautiful.
Our father has created everything with such beauty. I suppose there must even be beauty in sadness and pain somewhere. I praise Him, because He knows. He knows what is going on and that is so cool! Thank you God for taking care of us, thank you for taking care of “things”. We are truly BLESSED!

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