Tiara is Gone

This is an old blog post that was on my myspace blog. I think it is funny, so thought I would share.

I think there must be some specific moments in everyone’s life that we would call, well, “defining moments”. Today I had a very long one of those. I never imagined that I would be in the predicament I was in today. . .
My husband, who is the “guy who uses the plunger most”, in our house, was out of town today. I began to notice early in the day that the toilet was acting a little funny, kind of slow. I crossed my fingers that all would be well and I even pulled out the plunger and gave it a few jabs to see if something magical would happen. I mean, let’s face it, the beautifully manicured nails are gone (gave those up in an effort to save money), not a trace of make-up on my face today, wearing a ball cap (although it did have some pretty sparkly rhinestones on it), and I guess I was just in a moment where I better give it a try. Nothing happened.
Okay the day goes by. Errands, gardening, picking up kids, etc. and a potty break for mommy (that’s me!) comes around. This time, when I went to flush, it didn’t stop filling up. The water just kep rising out of the toilet bowl. Overflowing water with my pee in it!!!!! Yep, I know this is gross. So I am kind of panicking, not sure what to do. I grab every towl I can find and throw it down. Within seconds the kids start yelling from the basement and running upstairs. Jacob is completely freaked out and Isabel is just trying to figure out what is going on. Water seems to have been falling from “the sky” down into the laundry room in the basement. After I reassure them that all is well, I get to be the clean up crew.
Yep, I had the privilage of cleaning up a lot of toilet water. After I cleaned up the toilet water with towels, next I used the shop vac to clean the bathroom floor. Then, I got out the Swiffer Wet Jet and cleaned the floor. Amidst the chaos, the new puppy decided to raid the cat’s litter box and found herself a rather large piece of cat poop coated in kitty litter that she thought was a fabulous treat. I tried my very best to pry that puppy’s jaws open and to get her to release that big piece of cat poop, but she hung on with all the power that her puppy jaws have. I was defeated. I was only given a few morsels of cat poop to clean up as I watched the puppy that loves to give me kisses eat the cat’s poop!
Now, back to the bathroom I went. I was sweating at this point. I might as well clean the toilet, etc while I was cleaning in there. It was then that I stopped, took a moment, and realized, that even though I have changed a very large amount of diapers, be it poopy or wet, that this was gross. This was all really, truly gross.
My tiara, if I ever had one, is gone. No sign of it returning either.
The diaper days may soon end, but I am certain, I will never be royalty.

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