Another day in paradise. Waking up today was especially difficult, since my toddler is sick and I was up with him half of the night. I am spending most of my day in my pj’s, not because I really want to, but because it feels like it would take way too much energy to get out of them. I will, eventually. I am hurting today. You know, the aches in the joints, my lower back, a slight headache; it is different for everyone who hurts on a regular basis, but this is what I am experiencing today. I could take the over the counter pain relief medications, and I probably will at some point today, but they just don’t help much. They certainly don’t help in the area of energy. That is where I am lacking the most. For a miracle boost of energy I would give a lot of things. . .but instead I must decide what I can do despite feeling this way. I truly don’t want to waste my whole God-given day away depressed and unproductive.
For me, it has to start with a decision. I have to make a decision at some time during the day that I have wasted enough, that I must mentally push on forward and make the most of the rest of what I have. Some days I don’t get to that decision making moment until it is evening (honestly there are days I don’t get there at all), but today it will be around 3:00pm. I just have to accept that.
Acceptance is truly the hardest part, I think. For once you accept your situation, then you can figure out how to deal with it. Don’t you think?
A favorite scripture that I remind myself of often is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” and, at the moment, I don’t even recall where in the Bible it comes from, but I remind myself of that truth frequently. I will ponder what Christ endured for me, and it will help me to put into perspective that my suffering is so slight in comparison. Maybe you think on these same things and it helps you to get past the “pity party” moments we all have.
I think I will go take some ibuprofen and get myself put together so that I can be a little productive today, that is, if I don’t stop by the couch on my way and end up indulging in a nap!
(written on 6.30.08)