What to do? What to do?

I have been struggling with the issue of attempting to work part-time in these recent months. My family needs the additional income greatly, as my husband was laid-off from his job in July, and continues to try to earn enough income through a self-employed business venture. It is only normal to want to assist with the financial burden, but I am having a very difficult time getting the job done, so to speak, as a person who deals with chronic pain and fatigue due to Fibromyalgia.

In September I accepted a part-time position doing clerical work at a hospital. It is a night shift, which in and of itself adds an extra dose of challenge, but it was what seemed to work best for our family. I found this whole situation to be extremely taxing physically. I think it could be challenge for most people, but add the Fibromyalgia to the mix and it seems to be a difficult situation to balance.

I have recently chosen to go from nights to days, and I have been blessed that I have had the opportunity to do this. My hope is that I will be healthier and happier because I will be able to keep a “normal” sleep schedule now that I am not required to stay up all night two nights a week. Although, making this change is not going to be easy. My new position during the days might be more stressful as the department I work in is much more active during the daytime hours and the demand put on my position is much greater as well. I am going to give it a try and hope for the best.

My conundrum is in the issue of if it is even worth it for me to work? The financial gain is small. The benefits, as in health insurance, is significant most definitely. But the wear and tear on my body and the extra demand that is put on my family is great. My husband is far more frustrated than usual because I often need to rest or sleep due to the fact that I have expended all of my energy at work. This takes a chunk of time out of his schedule that he feels he could make good use of working at obtaining new clients and trying to make sales, instead he is required to help with the care of our children and upkeep of the home.

Where does one draw the line? Is it worth it to go without health insurance? What is the cost and what is the gain? How does one weigh these matters? This is a challenge I am certain many are facing right now, especially for anyone who struggles with chronic pain and suffering through difficult economic times. I know I am not alone. You are not alone, either. If I am faced with these difficult decisions, I can not imagine that others are not facing them as well.

For now, I will see how the day shift goes beginning next week. But in the meantime, I can’t help but wonder how long I will be able to handle this and what conclusion I might come to in the coming weeks.

written 1.14.09

One thought on “What to do? What to do?

  1. I feel for you. when my kids were small, and both of them high needs children, there was no question – I stayed at home doing the full time mom thing. Now my kids are *mostly grown* and I want to be contributing more. I have worked in the past (mostly self-employed), but quit due to my health. I now work part time online and love the job, but still worry about what it takes from my everyday life. I suppose, for me, it’s about choices and priorities. When I’ve put my priorities first and based my decisions there, it’s easy. I have no guilt because I know I did the best thing for my situation.

    Something tells me, you’ll do the very same thing. ❤

    Ellen

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