I titled this blog “Una Vita Bella: Living a beautiful life in the midst of chronic pain and illness” because that is what I aspire to do, but I have to admit to you that it isn’t always looking beautiful from my perspective. In fact, it might not be looking beautiful from any “outside” perspective either.
I spend far too much time lying on my couch and not participating in life the way I would like to. Lately, I have had a great deal of trouble sleeping, and it has completely taken over my quality of life during the daytime hours. My children seem to spend far too much time playing video games and watching tv right now, rather than being engaged in imaginative play that I would like to encourage. My relationship with my spouse is strained, in large part due to my chronic illness and the effects it has on me physically as well as emotionally. Sometimes, things just don’t look that pretty around here.
But I have to remind myself, and maybe you do too, that there is beauty in the smallest of things, such as in a shared laugh between myself and my 9 year old as we watch a movie together. There is beauty in the moment that we gather together as a family for a shared meal that I was able to prepare that day, even if it is not gourmet.
There is beauty in the simple things.
My 3 year old and I often read books before naptime and bedtime, this is one of my absolute favorite things to do with him. It is so amazing to see what he is learning about the world as he points things out to me in the pictures and as he listens to the story.
I see beauty in watching the Spring blooms as they try to emerge this season. I see beauty in the birds that come looking for worms in my yard after a big rain. I see beauty all around me when I look. I thank God for the beauty in these simple things.
But, how can I make my life more beautiful?
In the meantime, since I am not feeling my best, I am going to have to make a concerted effort to create small blocks of playtime for myself and the kids. I can paint with my toddler. We can color together or build with blocks. These moments where we giggle and explore, even within the confines of our home, are truly magnificent as I witness the wonder of a 3 year old.
I can enjoy some time reading and with that so often comes inspiration for healing. I also get to spend time in the Word of God, which for me brings abundant blessing. I can choose to spend time journaling, blogging and learning about others on the web. My most recent joy is twitter where I am meeting an amazing bunch of people.
As a friend of mine just said, “It’s all in how you look at it.” And Iwill choose to look at it this way, by seeing the beauty in my life, regardless of how it may look on the “outside”.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8 NKJV