“Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.” Denis Diderot
I’m not sure in which context this quote came from, but to me, it speaks of the passions of the heart being a great impetus for elevating a person to accomplish great things. I see passion as the fuel for the fire of achievement. So if we have no passion, we have no fuel, and we will be stagnant.
I have passion … I have passion for speaking out about injustice, about causes that need to be heard. I have passion for music and artistic expression. I have passion for knowing others and developing relationships. I have passion for learning and for following my curiosity. My passions are many and run deep, but yet, I so often feel stuck.
Where do I go with this passion? What do I do with it? And how can I achieve success with these passions as my fuel? How is my passion different, how do I stand out in the crowd? How do I become the person I was created to become?
I have always admired those who knew what they wanted to be “when they grew up”. You know, those people who knew from the age of 3 that they were going to be a doctor, or at the age of 7 they met an archaeologist on a school field trip and from that point forward they knew they would be digging up dinosaur bones one day. How about those people who go into college knowing exactly what their profession is going to be, have their major selected precisely and accurately, and their post-graduate education planned out before they have attended one day of class. These are the people I have always admired and wished I could be like.
To me, there are so many things that are exciting and interesting, so many fields of interest, but I have yet to pinpoint the area in which my skills and gifts will allow me to soar. I no longer want anything close to mediocre or “good enough”. I want to find my niche and excel. I want to be exactly where I am supposed to be. It sure would be nice to have some clue as to where that is!
I am seeking ways in which to make it possible and thinking hard (sometimes too hard) about going back to school to finish my college degree. I am thankful that I have a small amount of course work to do in my previously selected major to complete before I need to decide what I want to be “when I grow up”. Finishing my degree where I left off will give me a bit of time to continue with my soul searching. And it’s a good thing, too.
It is truly an uncomfortable, awkward and disheartening predicament to not know where you should go, what you should do, and what you were created for. Frankly, I hate it. There, I said it…I rarely use that word (hate) and I want to retract it, but it is true. Being in this kind of a place of unknowing is so unpleasant. I want to move forward. I want to create change and use my passions as my platform for change. But, I feel a bit as if I am standing at the end of a diving board, above a deep and beautiful pool, knowing that once I dive in there is a chance that the pool might be drained of water, and I just might plummet into certain failure or just as bad, a big pool of mediocrity.
Okay, so I have passion, now I am seeking my direction.
I have a feeling it will involve diving into something!