May I Shine a Light

It has been too long since I have posted here…although my cause(s) is/are not forgotten.

My heart is wrapped all up in self-preservation lately, but my soul yearns for growth always. I believe I am far from stagnant, though there are times I wonder, but I work to remember, even if it is not written about, does not mean it did not happen!

Through the trials of recent times I have witnessed the continued personal struggle to be more humble and open to the hurting of others. How easy it is to be focused on my own pain!

How grateful I am, too, for the amazing gifts at work in my life. The gifts would be the hearts, kindness and love of others…some people I hardly ever see or have even never seen before! Steadfast is the love of a few precious family members and friends who truly accept me in all of my moments, the ugly, the fearful, as well as the moments I shine. These gifts at work in my life are so precious…I can hardly manage to find the words to convey their meaning.

Kindness shown, in varying degrees, is what gets me through it all…all of the mud and muck and mire, as God pulls me out of the pit, I know that He uses so many beautiful people to help me out as well. The kindness shown by a stranger truly does make all of the difference. The gifts of friends who know when you are in need is the fuel for the fire in my heart, it fuels the hope within. The moment of attention given by someone who I hold dear, is priceless. A phone call, a card, a letter, an email, a message on twitter, a blog comment, it all translates into one thing…the message: “you matter”.

I am now reminded of my shortcomings, of how self-absorbed I have been in my family’s personal struggles, in my own individual battles and I am inspired to be more, to remind others more of their significance.

It begins in my home with my spouse and my children, and extends out from there…may I touch you in some way in the future, may I bring a moment of warmth to your life somehow. That is my greatest desire, to show others that they also matter, for it is what I believe I must struggle with the most. Never do I want another to feel the pang of fear and isolation that comes from feeling insignificant.

In the year ahead, may I be a light, a beacon of warmth and may I shine in your life somehow.