Alone in a Different Way

I find myself approaching life in a more solitary kind of way these days. My focus is certainly on more than myself, my kids are at the heart of everything I do, as I am also watching out for my health and well-being. But rather than being metaphorically alone… I am alone (at least without adult accompaniment), a lot more often than I used to be.

It’s been at least a month now that I have slept in my own bed with an empty space by my side. At least, that is how I go to sleep, often I awake with a certain 5-year-old snuggled up beside me. It is a strange feeling when I turn out the light at night and hear silence.

Being alone can be an experience of isolation, loneliness and heartbreak and it can also be a time of reflection, adjustment and relaxation. Finding myself alone in this new way is sometimes scary and sometimes not. Being alone is not always a foreshadowing of sadness, but it can be for many, in a variety of circumstances.

I so look forward to visits from a friend that lives near by, even if it is just a few minutes or a shared cup of tea. It has become such a big reassurance to me that I am not alone in this world. And, of course, the reminder that I am never truly alone in life, that comfort that my faith gives me, is incredibly important, too. I find great consolation in the online communities in which I participate. A short message, a tweet, or a comment can really bring such a big sense of relief from isolation.

Where do you find respite from loneliness? Do you find yourself facing “alone in a different way” these days? Is it because of illness or some other circumstance? What helps you cope?

*This is my entry for WEGO Health HAWMC Day 13. Please feel free to join me in this writing challenge! Most of my posts have been published on my WEGO Health blog, but I am occasionally writing some of the posts here.


7 thoughts on “Alone in a Different Way

  1. How fitting I should read this today. I have been feeling very lonely. I miss my dad, I miss my kids, and I miss having a supportive spouse (mine was not). I cried for an hour today – out of loneliness. Then I texted my brother, and connected with a few friends, and also put on some very loud uplifting music. I feel emotionally worn out, but not lonely.

    • So glad you reached out and did what you needed to do to lift yourself back up! It’s okay to feel those feelings, but we sure don’t want to stay stuck in them do we? I am sorry for your loneliness and loss. I can relate to some of it and I send you (((hugs))). Happy you don’t feel lonely right now.

  2. What a touching post. Makes me want to call you up and reassure you that you aren’t alone … (don’t worry, I’m not looking through online phone books in search of your number, I’m obsessive, but not compulsive, ha ha).

    Thanks for writing this, there are many ways to feel alone, but just knowing others are feeling that way makes the loneliness less.

  3. After I had ECT, I isolated. I’m not sure if it was shame or part of the “flat” feeling that I was having. Later on I found that I started to enjoy the solitude. I like reading uninterrupted whether it be books or blogs. I now enjoy being around people again, but still relish my times alone.

    • Sometimes solitude is so peaceful and it’s very important to be comfortable in it as much as we can… it’s all about that balance, isn’t it? Thank you for sharing with me. ❤

  4. Growing up as an only, and with parents constantly on the move, I spent most of my time alone as a child/teen. I lived on my own into my early 20s until an incident made it difficult for me to feel safe on my own. I spent several years with multiple roomates (as many as 5 of us plus friends sharing a house)
    I then moved to the west coast, met and have been with the same person going forward. On only two ocassions did my husband go away . I’ve had jobs where I travelled, and might spend a week away from home.
    Around the time when I was increasingly dealing with symptoms of my chronic illness, my mother’s mental and physical health began to decline more rapidly, and I often spent extended periods helping her out.
    Last year, when she was hospitalized, I found myself physically alone for the first time in many years. I found I liked it: the quietness, the freedom to do what I want, when I want, etc. Since her death, I’ve been alone in her house many times. If I don’t go out, I can go for a whole day without talking.
    I’ve felt emotionally alone alot in my life. For me there is a difference. Isolation, loneliness can happen in a croweded room/life. Connections, belonging can happen when you are a party of one.
    Discovering the internet, blogging, and online communities has made a big difference. While I still often feel emotionally alone, on the outside looking in, I have met folks in the cyberverse who I feel hono(u)red to know, and who I would never have met otherwise. In many ways, I have been less alone in the last year than any time previously.
    As other commenters have expressed: online communities and friendships are a lifeline: you never have to feel alone when there are people out in the cyberverse who care.

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