Beyond Survival

It seems like I haven’t posted in forever, so I had to take a moment to step back, relax for a moment and share with you.

Life has been chaotic, to say the least, and I’ll spare you the details. As I’ve mentioned before it is a truly difficult time in my life, based on circumstances not related directly to my mental health issues or my physical health, but all end up woven together somehow no matter what in the end. At any rate, I’m surviving.

Since I last told you all I was job searching, I don’t think I mentioned that I did, in fact, obtain additional employment! The way things worked out is nothing short of miraculous really, and I have to say that I largely have this blog to thank for it, as well as some major blessings from above, the universe, and all goodness in the world. God is good. Even when things seem bleakest, life is filled with presents (sometimes small) that keep it all going in a somewhat melodious way. Life isn’t a love song right now, but there is still music. And wow, I’m thankful for that! Both metaphorically and literally. At some of the hardest times in my life (dealing with depression) I have been unable to enjoy music, one of my absolute most favorite pleasures.

I’m a testament to you all, really, that good things do happen and life living with fibromyalgia and mental health issues can still be alright. I didn’t say easy, but alright. I’m not going to say that everything is peachy and living a beautiful life is what it’s all about at the moment, but it is very much at the heart of who I am, always. I’m demanding more of myself, my body, and my mind than I have had to for a very long time, but I am also treating my body better than I have in a very long time. I’m making it. I’m not sulking, (not too much anyway) and I’m not giving up.

There are still some very tough transitions ahead. There are some difficult choices I have to make in the near future. I am not looking at the finish line any time soon, but I feel like I’m going to get there, that I’m going to somehow make it to a time of more peace, to a new kind of living that is healthier and happier than I have known for a long time. I don’t know what it all will look like, but I believe that I will get there.

(Perhaps it’s a good thing I haven’t blogged on the days when I haven’t felt like I was going to make it, because there have been many!)

If my post seems redundant of things I’ve said before, that’s okay, because I have to keep reminding myself of the good, the good that’s now and the good to come. If I put it down in writing, then, you know, it’s really there. Plus, you need the reminder too, right?

9 thoughts on “Beyond Survival

  1. So happy for you that you found a new job. I know it seems like everything is chaotic right now, but it won’t last. I know good things will happen for you!

  2. It’s nice to hear some good news, especially that you have some good things headed your way because of the blogging work you’re doing. You deserve it.

  3. Hello BEAUTIFUL!
    I was delighted to see your blog appear up on my fb wall. Your post is wonderfully honest; and therefore, truly lovely…just as you are, my dear friend! We all have those times when we are tempted to live in our past or somehow look into our crystal ball and foresee the future (my crystal ball either predicts doom or it sets me up for disappointment if my prediction isn’t realised). I have a terrible time remembering that the present is all that is real. I think it is that sometimes I really don’t like the present so much, and I see here from this post that you know what I mean =) Looking for God in the present is my only Savior. Truly it is. The circumstances often ARE bleak. But, then there are those beautiful moments, as you mentioned. Moments where suddenly we se Him! And in that very moment, which at that moment the PRESENT ~grin~, all is truly good!
    I hope you keep writing. You have so much to give and the world would be less without those gifts.
    I love you. I pray your today is lovely in some miraculous way.
    ~kimberly
    And yeeees! I AM facebooking. You were right! It is a lot of fun! And I am glad we catch up with one another there every now and then!

  4. I think that any day that you are able to see hope and progress in the midst of the pain is a day to celebrate. Please keep sharing, even if you feel like you’re repeating yourself. What you’re saying is worth repeating.

    Warmly,
    Ann

  5. Somehow, I missed this post. Congratulations on finding employment. I hope your employer and the other employees are understanding of your situtation! As you say, keep reminding yourself of the good in life, no matter how hard it might be to do so at any particular point in time, and you will find good and good will find you (not a great word night tonight: I’ve really in the foggy-groggies all day and got some bad news this morning).
    I’m sending congratulatory (((((hugs))))) and good vibes ~~~. You can use them now, or save them for a darker day. That’s the beauty of hugs and vibes — they have a long shelf-life and no best before date!

  6. My thoughts are with you. I just blogged today about how to maintain balance in life with chronic illness. At times it feels like controlled chaos, but somehow it seems to work out. It is frustrating, but have faith. ~ Peter

  7. i am in love w that “good comes out of bad” bit we’ve heard so much about n u also talk of in this post. it amazes me often what grows out of manure in my life. thanks for sharing this bit of your story. keep on.

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