Do Not Be Afraid

Share your story. Be real. Be authentic. Find your niche.

I’ve been stuck in this abyss of wondering how to do all of this…for months and months and months. I used to bare it all for you and now I’m afraid. I used to give everyone the nitty gritty details of my life and people read it, seemed to relate and maybe even liked it. I liked it. I loved knowing I wasn’t alone. I loved feeling brave and being real, even if it meant some would misunderstand or misinterpret my words or state of mind. It felt so goooood to release it all, put my mess out there, here and everywhere and get feedback…maybe even I could be so bold as to say I might have liked the attention. 

Life can feel lonely at times. Blogging friends, supporters, Twitter friends, you know…real people acknowledging you, your pain, your joys, your existence, just feels nice, right? 

But, now I sit here (in the hair salon, hallelujah!) and I have to figure out how to be those things I first mentioned in the beginning all over again. I have a new and amazing life. It’s like I received a fresh start in a multitude of incredible and ridiculous ways, but all the things and topics I have touched on before are still a part of my life – and more. 

What to say, what not to say…self-censorship is on my mind more than it ever has been before. 

I fear for saying something my ex-husband could use against me someday in a child custody hearing. I fear that my new extended family would be embarrassed/concerned/ashamed if I bared it all. I fear that discussing the topics I used to talk about so freely (as well as new ones) would hurt my ability to help provide for my family if push comes to shove and I have to look for work in the corporate world or even now as I continue to build my own independent contract book of business.

Paul says, in the Bible, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7). And if I’m called to share my heart, then I need to let go of this fear. I can trust in Him. It doesn’t feel so simple today, though.

So, I’m starting by sharing my fears with you here and now about all this because that is as real as it gets. I’m taking baby steps. (I can’t say that without thinking of “What About Bob?“) 

I’m sharing my desire to find my place online again. I’m just another voice in the crowd, but I think all of our voices matter. I think God has given me a story, a life, that matters. 

The Key to Happiness

Day two of #HAWMC is a doozy. We’re given one of life’s greatest and most debated questions to answer. The folks at WegoHealth must know how wise we are, us health activists. 

The truth is, whether you’ve faced major health challenges or not, the answer (in my opinion) is the same. How you come about realizing it may be a different journey for each of us, as well as how long it takes to get there, but the getting to it isn’t the writing prompt today. And you know what, I think the answer to this question is actually pretty simple.

Simple. It’s the little things. The key to unlocking happiness (which I must remind you is transient and much different from peace or joy) is in the simple moments and the sacred minutes in life in which you take notice. 

When I was in the throes of illness and pain from Fibromyalgia I gradually learned to treasure the brief and tender moments with my children rather than focus on a perceived lack of them. I learned to focus on the seemingly small stuff in life like a laugh coming from the other room, the birds chirping outside my window or dappled sunlight shining through the curtains. 

Illness taught me to be still. It taught me that happiness really can be found in the wiggling of my toes against cool sheets or in a silent prayer of gratitude. 

My, oh my, how easy it can be to forget this simple little key we all carry in our pockets! In a hurried and busy world full of demands we may find ourselves grumpy and stressed but we can do the simple thing and STOP. Take notice. Purposefully step outside. Take it in. Take it all in. 

Happiness lies in the little things and small moments, friends …with perhaps a dose of good perspective, but it’s there, just waiting to be unlocked.

Wordless Wednesday #HAWMC Style

Thank goodness for the WordPress mobile app! I’m in the pick up line at my daughter’s high school – multi-tasking at its finest, I tell you! No more words…just a picture of one oft littles that expresses excitement perfectly! (please forgive the obvious potty reference)

  

I’m excited for #HAWMC and for Spring and for lots of good things to come!